


Humming

by AlicienneOfTarth



Series: Once upon a December [2]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comic, F/M, First Kiss, Fun, Neighbors, Romance, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21663469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlicienneOfTarth/pseuds/AlicienneOfTarth
Summary: There was one thing Brienne couldn’t stand, her new neighbour.It wasn’t really him, but rather hearing him humming.Hearing him humming was a perpetual torture, like a woodworm in her head that followed her everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. Because even when he wasn’t humming, she thought about him humming;
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Series: Once upon a December [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560817
Comments: 48
Kudos: 122





	Humming

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3 of fluffcember: "Humming". Ok, this is more a funny than a fluff OS. It's probably the silliest thing I've ever written, I barely recognize myself so, if you're looking for something deep, I am so sorry, ahah. But I'm having so much fun writing these little OS, so I hope you'll like it anyway.  
> English is not my first language.

[](https://ibb.co/c1j6TPv)  


* * *

There was one thing Brienne couldn’t stand, her new neighbour.

It wasn’t really him, but rather hearing him humming.

Hearing him humming was a perpetual torture, like a woodworm in her head that followed her everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. Because even when he wasn’t humming, she thought about him humming; and it wasn’t like he hummed pleasant things, he simply hummed the usual three 80’s ballads in rotation, out of tune, and she could follow every note now, knowing them by heart at that point, wanting to beat her head in sync against the wall.

He hummed while she was eating, he hummed was she was sleeping, he hummed when she was trying to get laid, thing impossible lately thanks to his humming.

Because his humming was distracting.

Every time she heard him humming, she replied with strong bangs against the wall that they had in common. At that point, after ten seconds of tense silence, he started humming louder than before.

There was another thing she couldn’t stand though, the fact that he was the most handsome man she had ever seen.

It hadn’t been really a problem, not at the beginning at least, when she, still unaware of his handsomeness, could associate that humming to the Grinch, or to a creature with three heads, one for each ballad, maybe to a zombie? to ET, her forever childhood trauma? Or to those two writers that had ruined her favourite TV show forever? But then one day, she had met him in the elevator and he was wearing a soft turtle-neck and he smelled like cedar, holding a pizza box and she didn’t know if she wanted to eat the pizza or him and his cheekbones were sharper than those Masterchef’s knives she had bought with her supermarket clubcard points. Then he had turned toward her, smiling in greeting and she had probably kept her mouth open for ten seconds, without saying a word, like a problematic fish and he had kept looking at her, like a lion studying her prey.

_I’m just a fish, you don’t need to commit._

“Jaime.” He had told her, giving her his hand.

She had gripped it hard, maybe too hard, because at some point he had told her that.

From that moment their encounters had always been in the elevator, with his usual smirk that, she wasn’t quite sure, made her want to kiss him or punch him, with that “Brienne” that he said accentuating the r in her name, making her feel strange things in her pants and that fucking cedar perfume.

So now, every time she heard him humming, it wasn’t like before;

because it was Jaime humming, and sometimes she wanted to be the one making him hum.

One night though, while she was trying to finish a work project and he kept humming, she decided to take the situation in her hands. _I don’t care if you’re Mister Seven Kingdoms, I’m stronger than that._

She started beating her fist loudly against the wall, but he didn’t stop.

Then she decided to face him.

 _Ready for the war._ She looked in the mirror, adjusting her messy long bob, and just because she saw it at the corner of her eye, she put some perfume on and why not, a touch of mascara?

_Now I’m really ready, I’m unstoppable._

She knocked on his door, hard, putting all her force in her fist. _Open this door, you coward._

He didn’t reply at first, so she tried again, with more force than before. _I know you’re in there._

When she was about to knock for the third time, the door opened in front of her.

He was there, staring at her, wearing a pair of shorts and nothing else.

She swallowed, looking at him from head to toes. _Where is your t-shirt, cheater?_

“I’m so sorry, I was training, I didn’t hear you before.”

_You don’t need to train._

“What’s the problem?” He asked, drying his hair with a fluffy towel.

_The problem is that you’re illegal in many countries, especially in this._

He passed the fluffy towel on his bare chest then, slowly and she couldn’t help but following his hands. 

_I want to be a towel._

“Do you need something? Sugar? Salt?”

 _I need alcohol._ “No. I came here because..” Her eyes followed that traitor drop of sweat crossing his torso and disappearing under the elastic of his shorts. _Fuck, this is going to be impossible._

He raised an eyebrow, amused. “Yes?”

 _Don’t raise that eyebrow like that, you criminal._ “I came here because you are annoying.” She almost screamed, proudly, and she wasn’t sure but a pang of disappointment clouded his face.

“Annoying?”

 _Oh God, what are those puppy eyes? No, you’re handsome!_ “Yes, totally annoying.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but then he closed it again, defeated.

 _Marry me._ “It’s your humming!” She stammered out, _not you, you are perfect._ “You hum constantly, all day, every hour, every minute.. it drives me insane!”

“You hear me humming?”

 _Is he happy?_ She approached the incriminated wall, knocking on it hardly. _Calm down, you’re about to tear it down._ “See? It’s basically tissue paper.”

“Ok..I'm, I'm sorry. I'm always here alone, it's just a way to fill the silence.”

 _Come live with me._ “Ok, but you keep humming, and I hear you and when you don’t hum, I think that you’re going to do it soon, so I think about you humming all day and then sometimes I don’t even know if you’re humming, but I hear it, in my ears, like an hallucination, it drives me insane.”

“Don’t you go to work?”

“I work from home.”

“Fuck.”

 _Me? Yes._ “Told you! So basically, I end up thinking of you every day, every hour and every minute.”

She saw a dangerous glint in his eyes. _Idiot, what did you just say?_

“How?” He asked her.

“What?” _Play coy, you're doing great._

“How do you think about me?”

 _Like my husband._ “Like my annoying neighbour.” _Mine especially._

“Just that?”

“My annoying tall neighbour.”

“And?”

“My annoying tall blond neighbour.” She said. “And muscular.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“And sometimes a little bit hot.” _You’re a liar, every second._

“A little?” He said disappointed, taking a step toward her.

“Ok, hot.”

“Hot?”

“Very hot.” _Is he closing the distance?_ She retreated until her back touched the door behind her. _Oh fuck, I’m trapped, I need to call the police._ “Ok, maybe the “very” was a hyperbole, you know, an exaggeration. Do you like poetry? I love poetry.” _Good, take time._

“What if I find you very hot too?” He said, resting his hand against the door, next to her head.

 _Police, policeee._ “Then I think you need glasses.” She said, laughing hysterically. _Funny one, you’re smart._

“My eyesight is perfect.” He said smugly.

 _Of course it is._ “Look, you barely know me.”

“Brienne, 32 years old, you come from Tarth, you have a parrot called Roger, you work for a design studio in Fishermen's street, in your free time you like going to swim and you’re a fan of Cats the Musical.”

 _Touch meee, it’s so easy to leave meee!_ “How can you--”

He interrupted her, knocking on the wall next to them. “Tissue paper.”

“I told you.” She said.

“You sing well by the way.”

“I do, don’t I?” She replied, curling her nose. _Yes, great, you’re ready for Westeros’ got talent now._

“You’re voice is sexy.”

 _Fuck, focus._ “Ok, who told you the rest?”

“Mr. Varys.”

“Of course, he never shuts up, doesn’t it? He was born to be a doorman.”

“He’s perfect, isn’t he? Have you seen how polished are the stairs on Monday morning?” 

“The brilliance of the curtains too, on Friday!”

“Incredible, he should just stop with that garlic bread on Wednesday.”

“Oh God, I need to wash my whole wardrobe on Thursday due to that bread!”

“The laundry at the corner of the street?”

“Yes, do you go there too? You need to try the apricot softener, delicious.”

“Delicious.” He said, looking at her lips, instead.

 _I want to bite his neck._ “Ok, what else?”

“You make breakfast with whole wheat flour croissant and raspberry jam.”

She frowned at him. “How do you know?”

“I peeked in your shopping bag the other day in the elevator.”

“This is creepy.”

“But cute too?” He asked hopeful.

“A little bit.” She said, smiling. _Why are you smiling now?_

“You watch Friends’ reruns on Saturday morning.”

“Ok, you got me. Do you too?”

“Of course, favourite character?”

“Monica.”

“Chandler.”

They said at the same time. “Oh.” He said disappointed. “At least they end up together.”

“Yes.” She said smiling and biting her lip slightly. “We could watch it together.” _God, are you flirting now, you idiot?_

“We should.. by the way your last sex encounter wasn’t a success, was it?” He said lowly.

She was about to open her mouth to protest when he knocked on that cursed wall again.

“Tissue paper.” She said, exasperated and he nodded.

“He was an idiot by the way, the fact that I ended up almost breaking his clavicle was entirely his fault.”

“Oh, you’re a little bit wild? Interesting.”

“Wild?” _Stop laughing hysterically._ “Oh no, I’m really boring, I’m a disaster, a total disaster, I know just a position, and I keep doing that every day, every hour, every minute..seconds too” _Oh God, get a grip._

“You really talk too much.” He whispered in her ear.

 _Don’t ever do that again._ “No, YOU talk too much.” She said, pointing her fingertip against his bare chest. “YOU talk too much and YOU hum too! And it’s so annoying.. and it’s the reason why I was here, wasn’t it? So stop talking!”

“Yes, I totally agree, stop talking.”

 _Something went wrong in my exposition._ “No, I mean, stop in general.”

“I’ll stop in general, if you stop in general.”

“Make me stop?” She asked him in exasperation.

Two seconds later her back hit the wall and his lips were on her. She kissed him back because his lips were the softest ones she had ever kissed, because his tongue was so talented, she couldn’t help but following every movement. His hand grabbed her leg, curling it around him and he pressed himself against her, while his fingers squeezed her ass. She moaned, burying her fingers in his damp hair and he sighed against her mouth, biting her bottom lip slightly. “I’ve been wanting you since that day I found you totally wet, dripping on the elevator’s rug. You were wearing an absurd yellow raincoat.”

“Oh, that’s my Disneyland raincoat.” She said excited.

He groaned. “I know, image me having a boner while you were wearing Mickey Mouse all over you. I had to go to the therapist the day after.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, resuming kissing him. His fingers travelled on her chest, until they slid down, gripping the hem of the t-shirt. She raised her arms and he removed it. Suddenly he paused, groaning. She looked down at herself, _fuck._

“Are these little yellow chicks?” He said, pointing at her bra.

“I.. it’s Thursday, I skipped the laundry to come here, it was the only bra left.”

He sighed. “First Mickey Mouse and now cute chicks?”

She paused, breathing heavily. “I’ll pay you the therapist for tomorrow?”

“Ok.” He said, pushing her against the door again.

They kissed frantically for some seconds, his lips covering every inch of her skin. “Jaime?”

“Mmm?”

“I like you humming, it’s not that annoying, it.. it keeps my company.” She said shyly.

He looked at her sweetly. “And I like you knocking on my wall, it makes me feel less alone.” She smiled in response and he kissed her nose.

“Now let’s go to my bedroom.” He said, taking her hand.

“Why?”

“Because I want to make you hum.”

“Shut up!”

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, yes it was stupid, but I had so much fun writing it! Please leave a comment and tell me if you want a day from the list in particular. Xx


End file.
